I have been thinking about what I should post since the debacle of the U.S. election started this past Tuesday. I knew that I would be anxious, but didn’t realize just how much my anxiety would increase. I kept my head down with work, not watching the news at all. However, my daughter was consistently on social media and would occasionally come to my home office and give me updates.
At one point she came to tell me that she had read that it was being reported that members of certain right-wing groups were sending messages online that if Trump lost the election, they would begin killing people of color and LGBTQ+ people.
Just the thought of this absolutely horrified me. For one, given my previous academic studies into such groups and the general political climate of the U.S. over the past four years, I know without a doubt that there is a segment of the U.S. population that has been planning for something like this for years. In college during the late 1990’s, I was studying militia groups whose main ideological premise was starting a race war that would “cleanse the U.S. of the mud-blood races.” Secondly, I am personally frightened at this prospect because my daughter is a person of color, and I’m queer – so in that catastrophic scenario, she and I would both be targets. Thinking on these things has increased my anxiety to the point that I don’t want to leave my home.
As the election developments have unfolded over this week, I have felt a mix of emotions along with my anxiety – sadness, anger, horror, shock, hopelessness, terror, and disbelief. Why? One of my friends pointed out that it was horrible that even after 200,000 COVID deaths, about 50% of voters are basically saying “let’s have some more of that!” by voting for Trump. My response to that was that it was horrible that about 50% of voters want to further and legally dehumanize people like me and my daughter.
I’m trying as hard as I can to keep faith in the Goddess, particularly in Her form of Kali Maa. May Kali Maa, during this time of darkness, see fit to cut the rotten forces from the decay of our country so that new, regenerative growth can begin. So mote it be!